Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
