whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
