I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
