I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
