lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I touched a dick in church today
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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