I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
