ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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