Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
