I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize