so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
