we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize