i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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