I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize