just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
