you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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