So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
