all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
