I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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