ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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