i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
