I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
