i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm passing your future prison.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
