This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
two words...techno handjob
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
