for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
