He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
