That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just cropdusted the office
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
