i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
