They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize