well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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