This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
