I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
