Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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