Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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