You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
