I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
