Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize