It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
