I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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