woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
