There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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