I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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