he thought i was a dude.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
