i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
this boner is exhausting
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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