my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
