we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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