...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize