Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
