yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The adults are the big ones right?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
