spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
