So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
