Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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