Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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