oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
