It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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