the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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