i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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