We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
