I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
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