we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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