Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
