God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
