oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
