Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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