i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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