I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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