stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize