Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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