Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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