never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
