so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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